I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
