Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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