You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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