I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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