So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
