I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
