i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
