Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
