You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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