Welp...herpes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
