yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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