She said her name was "party"
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just had sex on a roof
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
