She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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