Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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