at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just blew my weed a kiss
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
