Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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