My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
