Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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