some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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