shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
