he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
