Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
