I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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