The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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