I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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