Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
