i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Text me some of your sweat
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
