two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
