ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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