Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I need water and some morals
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
