she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
