How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
