Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
