YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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