Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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