He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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