I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
