btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
