escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
