ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
