Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
