In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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