return my video game
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just want nice things and good sex
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
