So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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