don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
