i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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