dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
