try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
