You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
