you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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