Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
