it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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