I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I love you. Go after that dick
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
