We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She swung at the pinata with crutches
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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