Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
